6 a.m. workouts (in 10 degree weather or less most days) plus a 16 hour class schedule plus soccer practices/games plus hanging out with friends….it is all becoming a bit overwhelming. I find myself everyday at about 2 p.m. laying in bed (or dozing off in class) thinking why am I doing this to myself? What would it be like to be a normal college student? Why am I putting myself under so much stress? It seems like every class I am taking this semester decided to try and make it as hard as possible. Every night I find myself up till midnight doing loads of homework, but it’s not even fun homework. Okay….homework is never fun, but I would much rather color in parts of the body to learn about different muscles then read 50 pages out of a textbook. My desk looks like a bookshelf because for every class, I find myself having to read every night. I will finally finish my homework the night before it is due to only go to class the next day and get drowned in homework yet again. I constantly feel like I am one step behind everything. My days feel rushed and I am tired all the time.
When I am about to hit my breaking point, I just have to take a step back and realize that my life is pretty awesome. I mean not every athlete gets to go on to play at the collegiate level. One year ago today I signed to play soccer at Abilene Christian University. There are no words to describe that feeling when I first got to play. All I kept thinking was that I had finally made it. All my dreams of playing D1 soccer when I was a little girl were actually coming true. I am one of many, but few. Not everyone gets to experience having 26 instant friends. Not everyone gets to have that feeling of glory and relief when you finish a 6 a.m. workout and you actually survived it. Not everyone gets to travel around and play the game they love. Not everyone gets to represent their college every time they step out onto a field. I mean not even just sports…some people aren’t even in college. I am privileged to be at college earning a degree. Not everyone gets that “college experience.” Not everyone has a pretty awesome roommate that 6 months ago was a complete stranger but is now one of your best best friends. Although these times seem hard, at least I am here getting to live them. My bad and stressed days don’t mean my life is bad. I can’t complain about one day when in comparison to my life that lies ahead, it is worthless. 20 years from now, I am not going to remember all the days and nights I stayed up studying for a big test. I am going to remember all the nights out with friends, all the soccer games, all the people I have met.
You have to take a step back from your life every now and then to really appreciate what you have. Don’t get so caught up in little things. One day, they are going to mean nothing to you. Give time each day to thank God for the life he has given you. Don’t have tunnel vision. Take a step back and take in all your surroundings for one day, everything is going to be totally different. One day, it could all be gone.