January 1, 2017.
The day I realized I deserve better.
I woke up FIRED UP about 2017. This year already holds many great things that are going to happen, but I am MOST excited for the great things that I don’t know are going to happen. I love to know how things are going to turn out. I love knowing when things are going to happen, BUT how many things actually go as planned?? You think you are going to go on a road trip, then BAM! Car breaks down. You think you are going to date that one boy forever, then BAM! You break up. You think you are going to have to take a job just because it’s the only one available, then BAM! You land your dream job. It is always the times in my life when I actually have a plan to do something that something else comes up to change my original plans. Seriously, it happens all the time.
2016, for me, was quite the year. There were a lot of times of sadness, heartbreak, and anger, but also LOTS of times of joy, happiness, bravery, thankfulness, and love. I reflected back on how I personally have grown and while I am very proud of who I am today, I am also sad that I let myself settle and think that who I have become is all I deserve. Sayyyyy whattttt???? I know, kind of confusing, but bear with me for a second. During different seasons of 2016, I let myself think that the way I was being treated, was all that I deserved. During different seasons, I let myself think that things were or were not happening to me because for some reason I deserved it. During the different seasons, I began to care more for others than I did for myself. As I rang in the new year and woke up on January 1, 2017, I realized I DESERVE BETTER.
I know I don’t truly deserve anything, for God holds my entire world in His hands. All I am is because of Him. However, how I choose to live my life is my choice. It was my choice to follow Christ. It is my choice to hear Gods calling and my choice to follow where He is leading me. Things were or were not happening in my life because I somehow deserved it, but rather because I had CHOSE to believe that I deserved it, instead of somehow knowing God was at work the whole time. When something bad happened, at the time I dwelled in sadness and pity, but now that I can look back and reflect, I know God was saving me. What I thought I wanted was not what I truly needed and I now can see that God removed me from those situations because He has something better in store. It is like I can hear God telling me, “Don’t sell yourself short. You deserve better. Trust me. Follow me. I will show you.”
Isaiah 43:1-3 “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
So here I am. New year. New mindset. This year is my year. I know I deserve more in all aspects of my life than I have let myself and others tell me. I have no reason to worry for God is my rock. He is my refuge and strength. I had a conversation the other night with my close friend and she said, “The way I see it is, God has this whole thing figured out so why sit here and try and work it out in our heads. His plan is far greater, as is He.” God has my life figured out; I just have to listen. I can’t ignore what He is trying to tell me. I can’t think that things are all that I deserve for God is telling me there is much more to me and my life. BIG things are to come in 2017 and I just can’t wait to see what happens. BRING IT ON.